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Poems, Short Writing Pieces, and More!

***The poems below fit more under the comedy category. You have been warned.***
​​Please contact us on the About page to recommend what we should write about!

10/9/2017 0 Comments

Pair of Pears

By David W.

Hey look!

It’s a Popsicle.

​
0 Comments

10/8/2017 0 Comments

13 Reasons Why

By David W.

Why did I write this?

  • The Earth is polluted with trash and now Earth has a ring like Saturn! Except it’s made out of trash. Even better! It’s not just the ring, we litter-ally are surrounded by a sphere of trash! No wonder Earth hasn’t been invaded by aliens.
  • Unless you're allergic to peanut butter, go jump in a pool. It’s great advice.
  • What is the color of the sun? I don’t know. Maybe a box?
  • Why am I writing so much about space? Wait. IT IS CHRISTMAS ALREADY. HAPPY EASTER EVERYONE. GO GET SOME FLOSS FOR YOUR HEALTH!
  • Erasers can’t erase everything. Unless you dip them in some Mountain Dew.
  • The Sun is a deadly laser.
  • Now there’s a blanket!
  • Roses are red, violets are blue,
    Why am I writing this, I don’t know,
  • What's that? A silver candle that's been used for a light bulb.  
  • Thankfully Hillary wasn’t elected as president, or else we’ll have a restroom for men, women, and attack helicopters.
  • I like my pizza BONELESS.
  • You can’t use flashlights in the dark, it doesn’t work, unless you microwave it with some cheese.
  • This is the 13th reason. Great right?
0 Comments

10/7/2017 0 Comments

Facts

By David W.

The sky is blue,
Triangles have three angles,
Dogs have four legs,
EGGS MAKE OMELETS.

​
0 Comments

10/6/2017 0 Comments

Flag Hampster

By Jonathan L. 

A rodent.

​Disgusting.


​
0 Comments

10/5/2017 0 Comments

The Honda Banana


By David and Violet W. 

Tired of driving your Scottish, brand new automatic and hybrid Lamborghini?
Ever wanted to drive in something different?
I know you do.
Well now is the new era of…
THE HONDA BANANA!

Introducing the Honda Banana!
The Honda Banana uses your tears as energy
So it’ll obviously never die.
We always cry in the inside.
Ha ha.
Just remember to put your tears in a bucket with a hole.
It’s easier to store your pain that way.
I promise it won’t leak into a cabbage.
As in leak so much it turns into a cabbage.
Not like, tears onto a cabbage or something.
You then take that cabbage
and power your car.

This poem was sponsored by GEICO and Jake from State Farm
Two fun facts:
Fifteen minutes can’t save you anything (especially cake).
It’s free real estate.
Also free country.
Because I live in America.
And we have Donald Trump,
So ha!

​
0 Comments

10/4/2017 0 Comments

A Day With Rob

By David W.
​

One day, Rob went to Hawaii to get Burger King because he was too lazy to go to his Burger King which was 2 blocks away from his home in Russia. Rob has 10 dollars with him. He saw a tree that was 2 feet tall. Then, he goes to Burger King and buys a Big Mac and spoon. If the Big Mac and the spoon is 5.89 dollars, what is the volume of the sun?


0 Comments

10/3/2017 0 Comments

Speech About Trees

"By Jonathan L. (Edited By David W.)

Oh tree, you fill me with pleasure,
Every time I look at you
Better not be made of beavers.

I'm warning you, tree

So what have we learned here, children?

"Vote For Me, I'm A Tree."




0 Comments

10/3/2017 0 Comments

Tree Cream

By Jonathan L. 

Oh tree, u fill me with pleasure
Every time I look at u,
Better not be made of beavers

I'm warning u, tree


​
0 Comments

10/2/2017 0 Comments

Grape

By David Wang

PONY IS GRAPE.
0 Comments

10/1/2017 0 Comments

The Basket of Pie

By David W.

Oh Basket of Pie,
Oh Basket of Pie,
What did you do this morning?
Oh Basket of Pie,
Oh Basket of Pie,
No Laundry Softener Added!

0 Comments
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